Sunday, July 31, 2005

Forgotten, but not gone

Hey there, remember me?

I created this blog several months ago for the express purpose of using it as a means of capturing my thoughts and observations during my residency -- a sort of online, ready-access, minimally-private diary. During those first few months I caught the blogging fever, posting new content multiple times per week, actively seeking interesting blogs to frequent, and even going so far as to waste hours upon hours trading imaginary shares in blog stock. Now that my residency has begun, though, my utilization of this space has dwindled to essentially nothing, and the original purpose for this blog's existence seems to stand no chance of fulfillment. What gives?

Well, I have found that, after spending thirteen or fourteen hours a day writing innumerable orders, consoling frightened or bereaved families, participating in interminable morning and evening rounds, completing any number and variety of mundane patient care tasks (such as ensuring Q3 day bowel movements from patients whose intestines have been silenced by opiate inundation), and performing surreal neuro exams on comatose patients ("SHOW ME YOUR THUMB! CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR THUMB? MR JOHNSON!" -- performing gruff sternal rub on patient's chest, inducing him to extensor posture -- "Oh. It looks as if Mr. Johnson is herniating. Can we get the head of his bed up to 30 degrees and start mannitol, please?"), it seems that the last thing I want to do is end a sentence. Oops, I mean the last thing I want to do is come home and revisit the sights and sounds (and smells) of the day by blogging about them.

Nevermind that an 80 hour work week leaves little time for idle pursuits -- the real hindrance to my blogging of late has been that, when I'm not at work, I simply don't want to think about work. So I have come to the conclusion that if this blog is to survive, I will have to enact a concerted paradigm shift such that this forum need not be my work diary, but rather my work escape -- a place where I can write about whatever comes to mind, rather than about whatever happened at work. In other words, I will likely keep writing about the random, mindless crap I wrote about before I started work. Will that keep me coming back here more frequently? I can't answer that question for sure -- but the shift in mindset will certainly decrease my activation energy for beginning to process of sitting down at my computer and blogging.

So, if anyone out there still reads my blog (thanks, Lemming Fodder!), I appreciate your patience during these lean times. Though the realities of work will likely prevent me from posting here very frequently, I do not intend to allow Not Rocket Science to expire -- so don't forget about me!