Saturday, March 05, 2005

Lessons from The Jacket

I watched The Jacket this evening, a new film starring Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley. This is what I learned, whether or not I wanted to learn it (WARNING-- MAY CONTAIN PLOT SPOILERS, especially #7):

1) Time travel may or may not be possible
2) Presenting time travel on film with an internally coherent plot is patently impossible
3) Apparently -- I had never noticed this before -- one's memories actually appear on the retina as if cast forward from a movie projector located (I would guess) somewhere just posterior to the optic canal
4) Keira Knightley's breast development is roughly Tanner Stage III
5) Keira deserves respect for showing us that one need not have 500cc saline bags implanted prior to exposing one's breasts on film
5) Adrien Brody's maxillary teeth are in fine order, whereas his mandibular teeth are all over the place
6) When observing extreme close-ups of the mouth, one gains greater appreciation for Eliot's description, "her teeth were only accidental stars with a talent for squad-drill"
7) Wretched, ill-devised, cruel, medieval psychiatric treatments are not for everyone; side effects may include PTSD, time travel, and -- if one has already sustained a severe scalp laceration leading to profuse hemorrhage -- death from unabated continuation of said hemorrhage

But at least I learned something.


At 3:46 PM, Blogger L said...

ha ha on the Tanner Stage II thing... gotta love a medical mind.


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